Iris
by IconofSelfIndulgence
Summary: A Burn Notice songfic featuring Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls. It concerns Nate, Michael's younger brother, and certain stages in his life. Rated Teen for language and character death. R/R, and enjoy!


A/N: Hello! This is the first thing I've ever completely finished. Woot! Go me. This is kind of based off an RP that I've done on myspace. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: Burn Notice belongs to USA and Matt Nix. If I owned Burn Notice ... well, I wouldn't be writing here, that's for sure. I own Nicky, Artie, and little Matty, though. Song lyrics are Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.

* * *

Nathan Westen stood on the sidewalk with his eyes locked onto the woman before him. Nate honestly never thought that he would admit it, but he was in love. Her name was Nicole "Nicky" Hart and she had become the biggest part of his life from the moment Nate laid his eyes on her; he would be absolutely nothing without her. Tonight, unlike most nights in Miami, there was a cool breeze sweeping through the streets. Nate wrapped his arms around Nicky and pulled her close to him. They had not been officially declared a couple, but things were moving quickly in their relationship. As the breeze calmed down, Nate slowly began to release the woman from his grip. While he went to whisper to her, she surprised him with a kiss. Her lips touched his in mid-word and he stood there silently. His eyes widened slightly, but he gave into her. How could he have not? She pulled away from him and immediately turned. Lost for words, Nate watched as she stopped walking and looked back at him. He grinned when she winked at him. It only took a few minutes for her to turn around the corner of the block. When she was gone from his sight, Nate looked at the floor and put his fingers to his lips. He remembered the feeling of her lips upon his and smiled.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you,_

'_Cause I know that you feel me somehow._

_You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be,_

_And I don't want to go home right now._

_And all I can taste is this moment,_

_And all I can breathe is your life._

'_Cause sooner or later it's over,_

_I just don't want to miss you tonight._

Nate held out his hand to his lovely partner dressed in a silk, black dress. He and Nicky were on a date. She had picked out the place, and he had hesitantly agreed. Nate wasn't one for dancing, but for some reason, he felt like dancing tonight. The two slowly made their way to the dance floor. They held each other and began to waltz to get in rhythm with the other dancing couples. Her forehead touched his, and he smiled. Nate had never been so happy in his entire life. Hell, he hadn't even done anything bad in a while. Artie, his best friend, was known for getting them into odd jobs. They normally couldn't get out of them, too. However, Nate had been denying Artie's requests to do these jobs as of late. He wasn't a criminal; doing illegal things didn't please him. He actually wanted to get a good job so he could raise a family. More importantly, Nate wanted his older brother to be proud of him. With his eyes slowly opening, Nate sighed and moved with Nicky as the tempo of the song picked up. He led her into several turns with the beat leading them into a combo of steps. Then, it stopped. The lights seemed to dim and their faces just happened to be getting closer to one another. They kissed passionately on the dance floor, unable to help themselves. Nate's hand moved from her side to her cheek, and her arms wrapped around him. She held him tightly so that he could never let go. So that he could never leave her alone. And, quite frankly, Nate didn't plan on doing that.

_And I don't want the world to see me,_

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand._

_When everything's made to be broken,_

_I just want you to know who I am._

Nate stood in the living room of his mother's house with his arms crossed and a grim expression on his face. He had a black eye, his lip was bruised, and his cheek was swelling red. His brother, Michael Western, was glaring at him from the opposite side of the room. Michael was not happy; he had just found out that his younger brother had been selling drugs. Nate watched as Michael rubbed his forehead. Nate knew his brother didn't know what to say. At first, Michael was speaking calmly, but his voice soon rose. He was screaming at how stupid his brother was acting. How stupid Nate had been to even be selling them in the first place! What if he had been caught? Apparently, Nate didn't have an answer to Michael's questions. He had needed to do that for the money. It was an unfortunate thing, but Nate had to do what he had to do. Michael pointed his finger at Nate. He was fed up with listening to this, however, and looked away. This only managed to piss off Michael even more. Michael moved toward his brother and grabbed him roughly by the shirt. He slammed him against the wall. Nate grabbed onto Michael's shoulders and began to scream back at him.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,_

_Or the moment of truth in your lies,_

Madeline watched her son's screaming match with a terrified look on her face. Not only could she not believe what Nate had done, she could not believe that his own brother would scream at him like that. She looked away from them at the right time, for there was a loud bang as something hit the floor. Alarmed, Madeline looked back and saw her younger son on the floor with a hand over his nose. Nate was glaring up at Michael, but his eyes held a mixture of hurt and hatred in them. Blood dripped between Nate's fingers because his nose was bleeding. Michael's punch had been harder than he thought. Michael turned his back to his brother and exhaled a deep breath. Nate was ready to tackle that bastard brother of his to the ground. He proved to be the better man when he got up from the floor and did not attack his brother. Nate walked to the door and left the house. He was so mad right now; he didn't know what to do with himself. Michael had no right to dictate his life, even if Michael had been right.

_When everything feels like the movies,_

_Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive._

Nate was sitting in the passenger side of the van that Artie was driving. His hands rested behind his head. All of a sudden, gun shots sounded off near the car. Nate nervously looked out the window. It was probable that they pissed off the other drug dealers in the area. He passed a cautious glance to Artie, who slammed his foot on the gas pedal. The car rushed forward through the red light. Artie managed to avoid being hit by a car that was coming at them from the side. Nate's heart raced in his chest. The other car was still chasing them. They didn't have anything to fight back with, either. He bent down and put his arms over his face. Nate was scared and he had no idea what to do. Artie lost control of the car and it slammed into truck. The force drove the car's back to lift into the air. It slammed back down onto the street and left two bloody men in the front of the car. They were shaken up badly. Artie kicked open the driver's seat and fell out of the car while Nate just sat there and trembled. He thought he was a goner. He gently leaned his head back against the head rest and exhaled a deep breath. Nate almost broke into sobs as his shaking hand pulled his phone out of his pocket. He dialed the number of a person he trusted: Michael.

_And I don't want the world to see me,_

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand._

_When everything's made to be broken,_

_I just want you to know who I am._

Nate had absolutely no idea where Nicky had gone. She had run out of the car in a hurry, leaving him all by himself. They had gone Christmas shopping; it was going to be the first Christmas that they had had as a couple. Though, Nate was just sitting there in the car, perplexed as to why she had run out of the car so frantically. He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. A scowl filled his face. Something didn't feel right. He turned his key and shut the car off. Once he got out of the car, he started to walk in the direction she had gone. That had stopped when he heard a loud blood curdling scream. He recognized the voice immediately. Nate hurried off in that direction and yelled out Nicky's name. When he found her, she was on the floor in the middle of an alleyway. Her face was full of horror as she looked out to a group of men that towered over her. Nate knew who they were; they were members of Nicky's old gang. This was bad! Nate rushed forward and slid in front of her. He glared at them. No way would they hurt Nicky. Nate wouldn't let them. He held a determined look on his face. Nicky stared in fear as the leader of the gang pulled out a knife. He spat sarcastic words of glory at Nate as he sliced at him repeatedly. She couldn't move to help him; her body wouldn't budge an inch. Finally, he stopped, but Nate was still standing. It didn't matter to him that he was a bloody mess. He heard a click behind him and his eyes widened in fear. Someone was holding a gun up to Nicky's head. In defeat, he bowed his head and gave in to their demands.

Tears ran down Nate's cheeks. Nate Westen never, ever, ever cried. However, today was his wedding day, so he had a damned good reason for crying. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over to his brother, his best man, with a smile on his face. It had already been a year and a half since he and Nicky had started going out. He finally found the courage to pop the question, and she had said yes. Now, he couldn't help himself. Emotion took him over. He brought up a hand and wiped his tears as he waited for Nicky to walk down the isle. This was truly the happiest day of his life. The music started. Nate and Michael turned to see Nicky being walked down the isle by Sam, who actually did look like her father. His heart raced inside his chest. The wedding was beautiful.

Nicky lay in her bed with her hands gently resting on her stomach. She had a tired smile on her face. She and Nate had been happily married for five months already. They decided to have a child, and things worked out pretty well for them. When the door opened, Nicky's attention turned to Nate. He had just gotten back from work. A drawn look was upon his face. The poor thing looked tired, so Nicky patted the bed next to her. He smiled at her and kicked off his shoes. It was nice to just lie down next to her. Nothing else in the world mattered to him right now besides Nicky and the little baby she had inside of her. He leaned up and whispered sweet nothings into his lover's ear. His hand gently caressed her stomach. Even if he was unhappy outside of this house, while he was inside, he was the happiest man alive.

Nate and Michael stood in a dark building. He still didn't know why he agreed to go on this stupid little job with Michael. Something just screamed danger about being in this place. He cautiously walked around in the dark. His hand was on the wall so he would know where an opening would be if he moved near it.

_And I don't want the world to see me,_

He did find a door and as soon as he put his hand on the doorknob, it opened. A gun handle came out of nowhere and greeted his forehead. He winced and fell back. Blood dripped down his face from the wound on his forehead. Michael ran over and kicked the man back inside the door. He grabbed his dazed brother and dragged him into a more open room.

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand._

They were ambushed. A dozen men, it had to be, came out of no where and attacked them. Michael had had no idea that this was going to happen. He fought against the men that attacked him and held his own against them. Nate, however, was getting the shit kicked out of him. He was on the floor with his hands covering his face.

_When everything's made to be broken,_

Nate winced in pain. He hurt all over. Why did things like this happen to him? He didn't blame Michael for asking him to go. No, he blamed himself for actually agreeing to come. Nate licked the blood off his teeth. Another kick hit him in the stomach. This was never going to end. As he looked up to see his attacker, he saw something more important out of the corner of his eye. Michael was standing against the wall, dazed as a man held up a gun at him. Nate's body reacted faster than he could think about what he was doing. He was standing in front of Michael in no time with his arms against his brother's shoulders. Michael stared at him in surprise. A gun shot echoed through the silent room.

_I just want you to know who I am._

Michael stared in actual horror at Nate as his brother's grip tightened upon his shoulders. Then, before Michael knew it, Nate was falling and falling fast. He hurried to grab his brother before Nate hit the floor. Michael could see the blood filling Nate's shirt. He then realized that Nate had jumped in front of the bullet to save Michael's life. Tears brimmed Michael's eyes as he laid his dying brother on the floor.

_And I don't want the world to see me,_

Michael grabbed onto Nate's hand tightly. He was sobbing, something Michael Westen wouldn't normally do. "Why?"

"Because," Nate whispered, unable to speak any louder, "you still have your life to live … I've lived mine. I'm happy. You still have so much to do … I wouldn't have been a good brother if I let that all end with this stupid thing …" He coughed up blood, and Michael rested his other hand behind Nate's head so he wouldn't choke. "Tell … tell Nicky that I'm sorry." Nate's grip tightened in Michael's hand. He was in pain.

'_Cause I don't think that they'd understand._

Finally, Nate's grip loosened and his arm hung limp in Michael's grasp. Michael couldn't believe it. His brother was dead. He inhaled a deep breath and tried not the cry. He found that extremely hard with his brother laying there with empty eyes. Tears leaked down his cheeks as he looked around the room. Their attackers were gone. Michael lifted his lifeless brother and solemnly left the building.

_When everything's made to be broken,_

Nate's funeral was heartbreaking. Michael didn't expect all of the people who came to be there. Sam and Fiona were there to show Michael respect, but there were people that Michael would have never thought would come in a million years. The old woman who lived down the street was there, a group of local shop owners was there, and a small crowd of children was there. They all were crying. The most surprising guest that had come was the D.A. of Miami. Michael had no idea that Nate had known a man which such a prestigious title. Then again, he really didn't know a lot about Nate, now that he thought about it.

_I just want you to know who I am._

Nate's best friend, Arthur "Artie" Cronick, walked over to Michael and put a hand on his shoulder. He whispered his condolences, but he was probably hurting more than Michael was. He and Nate had been the dynamic duo, and without Nate, Artie didn't have a purpose in life. He rubbed Michael's shoulder before walking off to go find the sorrowful widow. Nicky, the poor thing, was crying her eyes out. She was gently caressing the head of her baby, but she was distraught. Artie sat on the bench in the cemetery, next to her. He put his arm around her and let her put her head on his shoulder. All of a sudden, Nicky let out a cry of despair and sobbed hard into Artie's shoulder. Why did her husband have to die so tragically? Why did he have to die before seeing his son? Artie pulled her into a tight hug after Fiona took the baby, little Matt, in her arms. Nicky held onto Artie as if her life depended on it. Michael couldn't take it; it had all been his fault. He walked away from them, so that no one could see him crying.

_I just want you to know who I am._

Madeline took her grandson from Fiona. Her son was dead, but, for some reason, she could not cry. She only held her grandchild close and rocked him in her arms softly. It was her way of coping with her son's death. Fiona, meanwhile, followed after Michael, after she realized that he had disappeared from the group. She found him sobbing as he sat under a tree. Fiona sat next to him and pulled him close to her. She tried to comfort him, she really tried her best, but there was no use; Michael could not stop crying. Carla was as good as dead now. Michael was going to kill her.

_I just want you to know who I am._

Michael stood in front of his brother's grave. He could see Nate standing before him with a goofy smile on his face, but Michael knew it was just an illusion. Nicky walked toward the grave and stood next to him with little Matty in her arms. She looked at him with a weak smile. When she tried to speak, her voice was as low as a whisper, "I don't blame you, Michael." Michael couldn't say anything, so he just smiled as a reply.

"I just can't believe he's gone, y'know? One minute, he was there, and the next, he was saving my life by sacrificing his own …" Michael swallowed, the memories consuming him for a moment before he spoke again, "I just never thought that he would do something like that. Maybe I really never knew my little brother." Then, they turned and began to slowly walk away from the grave. Nicky smiled down at her baby boy.

"He told me a lot about himself. Things he never let anyone know. He was … very different than what I thought of him originally. Nate really had a big heart and was a good soul. He was just stuck doing things he didn't want to. It wasn't his fault; I don't blame him for doing some things he did to make his living. I mean, look at me …" She sighed and shook her head. "But, he told me all about the bad times in his life. He also told me about working with children and little old ladies." Nicky giggled slightly while Michael's brow rose in confusion. "Your brother worked hard to make you proud of him." Nicky looked at Michael.

Michael swallowed; he really felt guilty now. He nervously put a hand on the back of his neck. "I loved my brother, Nicky, I did. I was afraid, though, that he would be just like our dad. That's why I was so hard on him."

"He thought he could never be good enough for you," She frowned. Michael's eyes suddenly widened in surprise as she continued, "Sometimes he would just lock himself in our room. I … er … never mind." She paused in her speaking and looked to the ground. Michael, however, was curious."

"Go on."

"Nate never cried much, that's the truth, but sometimes, he would just cry himself to sleep. He would curse himself for not being good enough and he would wonder why you hated him so."

Michael was silent. There was nothing he could say. He couldn't believe that he made his brother so sad. It made him sick to his stomach. Then, before he could say anything, he felt a hand on his shoulder. Michael looked back, but he didn't see anything. When he went to walk, however, he could not. "Go on without me. I'm sure Artie's waiting for you in the car." Nicky nodded her head and left him there. When Michael looked back again, he was able to see what exactly was holding him back.

Now, Michael never believed in ghosts, but Nate looked so real to him as he stood there in broad daylight. "Nate –"

Nate smiled and held up his hand for Michael to stop talking. "I heard what you were telling my wife, Michael. And I'm … well … relieved. It's nice to know that my death wasn't in vain." He paused in speaking and looked up at something that Michael couldn't see. He mouthed 'hold on' before speaking to his brother again. "I can't stay much longer, Mike. If you talk to Nicky more, you'll learn a little more about me. Squeeze what you can out of her, because I can't tell you to your face what I told her. I want you to think of me as something nicer than you're drug dealing, compulsive gambling, and alcohol drinking brother. Michael,

_I just want you to know who I am."_

With that said Nate ran his fingers through his hair and smiled widely at his brother. "Listen, I wanted to save you. Don't you go blaming yourself for my death, got it? Or I may haunt you," He winked, "Now, Michael; I want you to go live your life. And _please_, hurry up and marry Fiona already. Alright?"

"Nate," Michael finally got the courage to speak, "wait … don't go." He realized that this was the last time he would ever see his brother. "I …"

"I have to, Mike … I'm sorry." Nate looked up again and scowled, "Crap." He looked to Michael, "Don't worry about not seeing me. I'll be around, and, trust me, you'll know when I am. For now, my brother, I bid you adieu."

"Goodbye, Nate. I'll, _er, _I'll miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too," Nate first frowned, then grinned, "asshole." This got Michael to smile. He blinked, and Nate was gone. Michael almost felt relieved. Nate was in a better place now. As Michael left the graveyard, he smiled.

Starting today, Michael was going to make his life happy. He was going to live his life the way it should have been lived all along. But, first, he was going to get revenge for his brother's death.

* * *

A/N: Well, I hope you guys liked it! Now press that review button. You know you want to. And y'know what I realized? Nate never gets any love. So, I'll try to write more one shots about him. I've started another fanfic, but I'm going to head back to finishing my One Piece fanfiction first. I'm almost done with Chapter 4, but I want to write 5 and possibly 6 before I post it. My New Year's resolution was to update faster!

Well, Happy New Year, all! And 21 days until Burn Notice comes back. Woooo!

And the spacing would have been better, but stupid document manager sucks. So ... yeah. Sorry!

-Water Sage. =D


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